I’ve been to the hospital quite a few times this week. My maama (mom’s brother) had been battling stage 4 cancer for a while and after braving excruciating pain for almost a month, he decided to finally call it a day and rest in eternal peace. He lived a grand life, one according to his own rules, never bowing to the whims of society and those around him. He left an indelible mark on every person he met, effortlessly commanding every room he walked into. It’s remarkable how a tragic episode like this can bring the entire family together like nothing else can, and while a lot of tears flowed, nothing brought me more comfort than to see everyone also choosing to celebrate his life by sharing their own stories about the kind of impact he had on their lives. The void he leaves behind can never be filled, but I’m sure the family will continue to cherish him in their memories forever. Rest well, Anu maama.

I’ve found myself talking to my mother a lot during this time, often just offering to be a patient listener as she remembers maama and shares countless stories and episodes from his life. During this time, I’ve also wondered if he wanted to share a few things with the world before he left us. There’s a reason I’ve been having this particular thought. In a chapter in Tuesdays with Morrie, we’re told that when the protagonist was young, he voluntarily chose to work in a mental hospital for 5 years, and found that most people were not there because of financial issues, but because they felt rejected or ignored in their lives. When people are old, or sick, or both, they are technically taken care of, but no one is actually there to listen or understand them. Most of them just want to make sure that the heart keeps beating for another day. I wonder how many things these people want to tell the world, how many things they keep inside themselves just because they feel they will inconvenience the people around them if they take any more of their precious time. This thought made me terribly sad, and I think I’m going to do something about it.

Volunteering with U&I

A few months into my career break, I realized that I wanted to explore if I would love doing something with social impact. Teaching is one of the more common ways to get started, so I naturally searched for platforms which offered volunteering opportunities to teach underprivileged children and found out about U&I. I’ve been wanting to sign up for this for a while and I finally bit the bullet this week. The commitment is only 2.5 hours per week, so this should be manageable. I’m still waiting for my application to be processed, but I hope I get selected. I’m excited to share updates from this!

They have a much more involved 2 year teaching fellowship as well, so if you’re really passionate about it and have the time, do check it out!

Designing my life like I’m in college

On paper, I’ve been managing my time well lately. I use 1.5 hour calendar blocks (something I call a work unit) and keep my phone’s internet off to minimize distractions, but if I were to measure my progress across everything I’m doing, I will find that I don’t have much to show for. I think this is mainly because I just do whatever I want to do during the day, without a goal in mind. If I manage to complete 4 of these work units, I call it a successful day, but is it one really, if all I end up doing is work and maybe one other thing. I need to shake up things a bit, and one approach I was thinking of traces back to the thought that I tend to romanticize college life a lot. I think it is one of the best ways to live. You’re simultaneously learning a bunch of new things through your courses, exchanging ideas, engaging in extra-curricular activities, and working on a few projects at the same time. Why can I not design my life like this? Everything I work on can be a “course” and I know which projects I need to work on, so why not give this a shot for a “semester” or two. Unfortunately, all I have at the moment are raw thoughts, but I intend to have a good think on this and maybe I’ll have something that resembles a framework soon!

I’ve also been thinking of how I’ve missed collaborating with people on projects. I don’t know why, but I chose to shut myself away from the world and work in isolation. As I explore fields for my college degree, I realize one of the best ways to get familiar with them is by getting hands-on and making a few things. Building is what I do best and it is how I got into the IT sector without relevant formal education. I need to start going out and offer the skills I have, in hope that they may be valued and I might be allowed to work with organizations in the areas I’m interested in. Working in isolation is one of the most damaging things I can do to myself right now, and it’s about time I do something about it.

I’ve continued to make improvements to this website but most notably, I’ve now added my German language learning notes as well! I continue to structure them better, and I sincerely hope that they might help someone directly or even indirectly by making them aware of the tools and resources I’m employing to learn the language myself. If you’re reading this and interested in learning the language yourself, being my body double wouldn’t hurt now, would it?

As a final update, I mentioned last week how the environment in my work room felt bleak and that I wanted to beautify it. I ended up doing that and set up a photo wall. The effect was near immediate and it was a delight sharing this with the friends that feature on this wall. I find myself staring at the photos every now and then and I like that the room feels a tad bit more alive. This is what the room looks like now:

much better innit! the cables still ick me tho arghhhhh
much better innit! the cables still ick me tho arghhhhh

I also got this dart board from Decathlon recently and I cannot tell you how much fun it has been! Jas and I were completely obsessed when this came, and we still play at least 2-3 games a day. It’s honestly remarkable how big an effect a seemingly small purchase like this can have. I recently introduced this to mom as well and apparently, technique is just a formality as she casually hits 3x20s and dances her way to absolute domination. I cannot recommend this enough!

An okay-ish week, but as I return to normal life, I’m excited by the ideas that are bubbling in my little head. I hope to make something of them. See ya next week, awesome people!

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